Facebook is just not an appropriate place for notes. So I'd like to save this here. Day one, I was just immersed in the welcome from Big Apple and the excitement of traveling from the work place in Manhattan to my "home" in Queens. In mu suit and high heels, I felt I've stepped on the way towards professional legal server. Day two and three, I just sat in front of computer translating between Chinese and English, making up files, copying and typing--all the job of a lowest-level secretary. Suit and high heels were turning into the source of trouble in the hot office, and excitement fading as well. My only "happy hour" was in the train, reading "Words that Work" with my ipod. Plus, the worst started to surface: I had to work like a dog, twelve hours a day having no break, with kicking my boss's ass from time to time in response to her boast. In contrast, my internship as a journalist in Junior summer always occurred to my mind as some "golden times." Day four: I was numbed by the non-stopping repeat of copying and filling out multiple forms, as well as getting over the exhaust. Everything is no rosy at all, and I'm getting used to the routine life and no more sick of my tedious flattering words, even when my boss is becoming more bitch. I can tolerate her screaming voice, also can deal with her "you-are-idiot" attitude by putting myself as a newbie, but I find her so repulsive with her "I *beep* more than a rabbit" tone. That's just very annoying. Honestly I really don't care how many guys she laid, neither does her "guys around me are chasing me" fantasy bother me; but I just can't take her never stopping brainwashing us to buy her rule of "sex-money-exchange" game: hook up with rich guys (age is no an issue) to dig gold. So gross, so disgusting. Every time when she begins her old "lessons", I feel I'm sitting on the top of volcano and always figure out some excuse of going to John's to be sheltered. Shoot, I never met a 30+ woman as bitch as she is, one of the type of person I'd least like to know in the world. I'm almost like a robot, with empty mind, hollow heart, but big smile in the face to anyone, including those of my opposite. All are fine, though, except for one thing: where are my values and ethics going? In the daytime, I'm lost in the jungle of complimentary words, while in the night, still lost in the translation of true self standing in front of mirror. I'm wondering.